Blogging naked

February 6, 2007 · Filed under Drunken Ramblings, Girlfriends, Love, naked, Relationships

I figure the naked word will get some attention, and it gives me another cool tag to coax people into finding my blog :) Needless to say, I’m back from my evening (I had a great time, thanks!) and I’ve decided to finish a third-bottle of Rose wine just to top off the “odd drink or three” that I had with my friends. So, because it’s getting late, and it’s a work-day tomorrow, I’m ready for bed. The house is nice and warm because I’ve turned the thermostat up to global warming levels. If it is any consolation, all the bulbs in my house are low-energy ones and I’m a master recycler. So I thought I’d blog naked whilst stretched out on my super-comfy sofa. Thank-goodness for wireless electronics, and this is a cracking time to not own a web-cam.

There was a specific subject I intended to cover, but I’m not sure I’m going to be able to form sentences that make any sense under the circumstances, but it’s worth a shot – so let’s rock and roll and see what happens.

A year ago, I knew what the rest of my life was going to be. I was going to grow old with the person I loved and everything was going to be great. Super-duper great, in fact. Then in a puff of blinding smoke, it all vanished. Looking back on it now (ahhhh, hindsight, isn’t it great?) seeing all the stability in my life vanish so quickly was a real shock to the system.

From the written notes over the darkest months (it helped to write, even if it was just to myself) through to this blog now, my impression of what the future is has changed dramatically. It slipped from certainty to terror before stopping by at fear, passing through worry, moved into cautious curiosity before ending up in anticipation and then excitement. I don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow, but I’m not scared to see it. The gap between worry and anticipation happened in just two weeks. The gap between terror and fear took months. It would make a cracking graph in Excel – 6 months of values between 0.0 and 0.005 and then a three week period where the values rocketed up to dizzying heights like 0.8, 0.9 or even 0.99 (the scale is zero to one, by the way ;-))

If you lose someone you love, and you’re finding it hard to cope, then take one piece of advice from me: pick one of your good friends that lives as far away from where you as possible, and go and see them. You won’t want to go. All those who care about you will tell you to go. You’ll think of a million reasons why you can’t, but you should. You’ll hate the journey, but the arrival will lift a huge weight from your shoulders. Get away from the situation, experience something new and be in the company of someone special to you and meet some new people. Oh, and don’t contact the ex during this period. It’s so much harder to be sad when you’re hundreds (or even thousands, I don’t know where your friends live!) of miles away from “the situation” and all the little cues that remind you of your loss. It worked out for me, I came back a changed man (I should probably add one of those whopping disclaimers that what worked for me may not work for you and you shouldn’t secure your future happiness on any advice from this blog which is unregulated by the…. etc… etc…)

Besides which, I’ve ended up naked on my sofa writing a blog entry. I still can’t explain why I’m doing it (the blog, not the naked bit), but what the hell, life is short, and writing is fun – especially now I know someone is actually reading this stuff.

Blog naked – you know it makes sense.