I opened this blog with a drunken rambling, a few clicks here, a few clicks there and Bob’s your uncle, I’d written a couple of thousand words. If you’re not google or another web-trawler robot archiving and categorising my web site and you’ve actually read it, then you know that I am currently single. Have been for a few months, now. Despite writing all that stuff, I never once mentioned what I am actually looking for in a partner (at least not directly, anyway!). So here we go:
1. Physical attraction. My pants would be on fire if I didn’t at least include this in the list. Ultimately, physical attraction alone can only make a relationship fly for a while but let’s face it, you’ve got to fancy the socks off each other (and the rest of the clothing, obviously). So what floats my boat, then? Executive summary: Slim (but not skinny), small waist (there’s nothing quite like a good hourglass shape…) and nice bum. Some men are legs men, some are breasts men, I like nice female bottoms :) Face? Well, I’m not fussed about hair colour, eye colour, etc. (like most men, I have to be prompted to say ‘hey, nice hair cut you got’ because my brain seems to filter things out like that – oh, I can recognise a good hair style, I just fail to see when it changes. I blame my genes.) I am trying to find words that might describe the “ideal face for me” but for some odd reason, I can’t. I’ll have to look up some pictures. That’ll force me to figure out how to use this blog thing a little better.
2. Intellectual attraction. Now this is critical. I thrive on conversation. I love talking about things, debating the news, discussing world issues, talking about life, the universe and everything or anything. I want to be challenged, to learn something, to feel like I’m actually exercising my brain on a regular basis. I like it when there are differing opinions – debating is much more of an art and stimulation than arguing (hey, anyone can argue). This is the one, I think, that picks up after number 1 and turns lovers into friends (hopefully lovers AND friends!). So what sort of thing do I talk about? I’ll make a conversation about anything, but I’m afraid the nerd part of me likes science and astronomy in particular. I’m fascinated by politics and spin — the way that any words can be framed according to your own unique point of view. I’m a good listener, too, so it’s definitely not all “me, me and more me”. I’m also interested in culture – my idea of a nightmare holiday is going to tenerife or somewhere, sitting on the bloody beach and mixing with other English people. The whole point of going to another country is to explore, enjoy and absorb another wonderful culture and its history and people — to learn something, and meet interesting new characters. (Although I will admit that a nice book enjoyed whilst sitting on some beach somewhere is not exactly an unpleasant experience!)
3. Someone who understands we have common interests and separate interests. Don’t worry, I rarely do much beyond a few socials and poker evenings (I’m not a Homer-style sports and bar fan, to say the least). And we’ve got to both have a life, as well as the life that is built together. It’s a mistake I’ve made in the past — subdividing my spare time poorly. 50% extra work, 50% relationship isn’t enough – when the relationship ends, you’re left with nothing but the work. It should be more like 10% work, 70% relationship and 20% “other things” – me things: my friends, my computer games. But note the 20%. And maybe that’s a bit high, too. And ideally, that 10% work should be closer to zero, but we spend a third of our lives doing it so it’s going to fit in somewhere!
4. Communication. A mistake I made last month is inadmissible as evidence now. I’ve lost relationships in the past because I didn’t communicate my feelings when I should have done. I expect the same in return — I’m screwing up? I want to know. I don’t want to know when it’s too late to do anything about it. Obviously there is no such thing as a perfect relationship, but effective communication smooths the bumps and goes a long, long way to making one that could last forever.
5. Someone who isn’t scared by nature. I like walks. I like natural beauty. I don’t mind the rain. I like gardening. I enjoy watching the seasons go by, the changes that surround us. I feed the local birds (they get hungry, you know).
Clearly this list could go on from now until the end of time, and I’d do nothing more than contribute yet another personal brain dump of rubbish upon the internet; so maybe now I should call this entry a day. Where-ever you are, whatever web-trawler or automatic keyword robot script you are, good night!
(Edit: If you are a real person, and you have read this, please do say hello; I’m curious if I’m talking to myself, if nothing else :-))
